Indeterminism

And I observed what could have been when I was distracted by the desire for discovery. On a snowy evening, I fell upon the veil I had avoided finding. It was unhidden, perhaps in await, yet calm. Neither cold nor warm, it was a veil of predictability.

… Observing my passage through time and people’s expectations, my own fantasies have given me the peace of accepting. “There are no mysteries”, I often told myself “just our inability to lift a corner of that veil.” Because we avoid the veil in fear that we could indeed lift its corner. Not because we do not know where that veil patiently awaits for us.

It is not fear of discovery, therefore, that stops us from acting upon the impulse of wanting to know what is beyond. For the veil is not the curtain in a theater, nor it is the stage itself.  Instead, it is the comfort of the predictable that makes us lovers and warriors, jealous and indiscreet, even indifferent.  For the predictable has a past, hence a future, and we are at our best along a continuum.

What we learn from our observation of what could have been, is that what is beyond that continuum is the very continuum itself. So why discover the predictable that builds upon what one already knows?

… Observing my passage taught me about the very path upon where countless others had left a print, dropped a tear, stole a kiss, and continued. A passage needs a path, and there, some had seen the veil, neither cold nor warm, during a sunset or on rainy days. Yet, many had not lifted a corner; they had not peeped through. They just continued, for the continuum is where we find our predictability.

All mysteries disappear when we feel at peace with discomfort.  When our continuum gets interrupted by observations of expectations, and they make these expectations real. When drops of tears left behind by those who did not lift the veil become a promise in need of action. That is when we interrupt our continuum and become less than predictable.

We become curious, lonely and disappointed.

We become part of the veil.

December 29, 2013

©Vahé Kazandjian, 2103