Saturday, December 28, 2019

Correction About a Statement I Made in a Recent Essay

I received a comment about one of my recent posting https://vahezen.blogspot.com/2019/12/simple-thoughts-to-end-2019.html where I mentioned Pasternak’s Dr. Zhivago and said that the name meant “life” in Russian.  The comment I got (the complete message can be seen at the bottom of the above essay) includes:

"Zhivago, a name that means life in Russian" - this is what wikipedia climes with reference to Mary and Paul Rowland (Rowland, Mary F. and Paul Rowland. Pasternak's Doctor Zhivago. Southern Illinois University Press: 1967.) By Russians it is not so simple and the name Живаго comes from a prayer that impressed Pasternak in his childhood "Ты есть воистину Христос, сын Бога живаго" , https://goldlit.ru/pasternak/428-juri-jivago-obraz.

I did visit the suggested site which is in Russian, and if the translation is correct, then Pasternak’s character of Yuri has a name that goes beyond a boy’s name (ie. Zhivago or Jivago) but represents the character itself. As such, and based on reported influence on Pasternak a line from a prayer has had, the better interpretation of Dr. Zhivago may be “a doctor for all living”.

I appreciate the comment I received as it got me researching and learning more about the history of the name and why Pasternak may have used it in his novel. While I understand that it is correct that outside the novel itself, Jivago is the name of a boy and means life, it is equally correct that Pasternak may have used the name to define a character and the socio-political context of the times.
So, Omar Sharif impersonated a character that mixed the goodness of a healer to the analysis of politics. Here is an example of what he said:

Ah, but cutting out the tumors of injustice, that’s a deep operation. Someone must keep life alive while you do it, by living. Isn’t that right?

After receiving the comment about my incomplete statement now I know more about Pasternak’s creativity in choosing a name that meant more than a name. It was a symbolic encapsulation of the times.

December 28, 2019
© Vahé A. Kazandjian, 2019

Friday, December 27, 2019

Matryoshka



We are all Russian dolls. We either spend our lives ignoring the layers of us that are in that doll, or we just hide them from others. Going in is never pleasant, even for a doll.

And then, something happens. Either we find the moment and person to allow us to peel off, or we see the sunset of days and want to know before the long sleep.

We are all Russian dolls. Intuitively we know that if we get to the smallest doll, the one that does not open to show yet another smaller doll, we have reached the a-tome of ourselves. And it is inside that unopenable diminutive doll, we know is the lotus of what we had hidden, ignored, covered, and kept for ourselves.

And that lotus can be radiant and delightfully teasing its fluid surroundings, or it can be riddled with scars, wrinkles and blemishes. In the first case it is indeed a matryosha, a matron in Russian, that we have been hiding and cherishing. In the second case it is a babushka, an older woman that has seen it all and that we have been hiding away or away from.

We are all Russian dolls, nesting inside our own layers. Yet, it is not the number of layers or inner dolls that makes us interesting, but the way our first layer is painted. That is what we exhibit, we propose, we bargain through. It is all in the lines, colours and shapes that we put in front of eyes, ours and those of others. Few see deeper than the paint, and even fewer through to the next nested doll. Often we ourselves stay at the surface of the first doll. All our lives.

But, when something happens, something that makes us openable, and  ignore the lines and colours of our surface paint, then we become comfortable.

Because it does not matter anymore. Because the fluid surroundings of our inner lotus have spilled over the many nested layers of us and we now enjoy bathing in that surrounding. In public.

And then, to matryosha or for babushka, we read a poem we wrote many nested dolls ago. A poem that we never forgot. Because it was not written in words.

December 27, 2019
© Vahé A. Kazandjian, 2019

Thursday, December 26, 2019

Simple Thoughts to End 2019





I woke up early thinking that there is no more graceful way of wearing a scarf than did Julie Christie in Dr. Zhivago. Or Young Cassidy.

Then I made coffee as my dog does not like to go out when it is cold and snowing.  The coffee tasted very good.

… As the year is ending, I closed my eyes and remembered the lady who sold corn husk dolls in Bratislava. It was a stone throw from Vienna where I spent many moons in the past decade or so. “Much more forgiving than all the kouklas you may have seen in Kalithea” that lady told me.

Vienna. The coachmen cigars that the Emperor smoked dreaming of Sissi. And the small Prosecco bars in Old Town.

Yet, the Green Fairy was queen in the catacombs of Prague or even on the square of Brno. Wormwood and detachment. Taking portrait photos with a 1950s Soviet Zaria 35mm camera that had a cracked lens. I even took one photo of the orloj in Olomouc that when printed seemed to defy the principles of architecture. As if the Green Fairy had dripped into the Zaria.

… Filled another cup of coffee. Still dark and cold outside. I could hear my dog snoring in the next room.

Pierożki  reminds me of Krakow. So does a bottle of Spanish cava while listening to the street traffic at midnight. I wished I had hot coffee then as my hotel bed had a cold pillow.

But Oslo had its museum with slanted ceilings. In memory of the Vikings and their ships. That architecture cut my horizon short.

.. As the year is ending, I thought of Dr. Zhivago, a name that means life in Russian. And could not shake away the blue of Julie Christie’s eyes from my mind. Nor her grace of wearing a scarf in the snow.

And as my dog kept on snoring, I went back to bed.

December 26, 2019
© Vahé A. Kazandjian, 2019

Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Last Flight




It was in black and white
Like the lament of an oak tree
Standing cold
In a field covered in snow
A crow upon its top
On a foggy day

A lonesome earring
Hanging on a deaf ear
Shivers in the wind
As the silence of the field
Wraps around the lament
Of the oak tree

Days are long
When sunshine and sunset
Are one
When the crack in the green bottle
Lets the fairy out
A drop
At a time

And in the catacombs
Where names echo in sound
There are no doors, no windows
To open upon
The black and white field
Where the oak tree hears the crow
Upon its top

And hopes
That the green fairy
Would tell a story
One drop at a time
About the bottle
That cracked
Under
Its
Own
Emptiness

December 24, 2019
© Vahé A. Kazandjian, 2019

PS/The day before Christmas, a dove smashed against my window in high winds. It left a print on the glass that is amazing in detail.  The rain has already effaced most of it, but the photo I took has an eerie beauty of a flight stopped in mid-air. Gracefully.


Monday, December 2, 2019

Where There is Ruin, There is Hope for a Treasure -- Rumi







I have been a fervent fan of the late Canadian poet-troubadour Leonard Cohen since the 1970s. I first saw him in Vancouver in 1975 and went to one of his last concerts in Maryland a decade or so ago. Now, three years after his death, his son Adam Cohen, songwriter and singer himself, has put a collection of his father’s songs in an album titled “Thanks for the dance

So, I went back to listen to the songs that had influenced more than one generation of wandering-eye youth. Also re-reread some of the lyrics from his later-in-life songs, like Anthem.
There, a few lines suddenly made me stop and think. Here they are:

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.

I had not thought about the imagery as intensely before, but after this reading I could not get the famous line from Rumi out of my mind:
                    The wound is the place where the Light enters you

The crack, the torn, the broken part of us, of our soul is the door to letting the light in. And a wound can happen uninvited, or it can be self inflicted. And that took me to another line from Rumi:
                     Keep breaking your heart till it opens

L. Cohen was nicknamed “the godfather of gloom” as his poetry and songs dealt with the darker side of us. The side that hurts, inflicts wounds, breaks hearts. In retrospect, did Cohen knowingly or purposefully kept breaking his heart till it opens and lets the light in?

… As a kid, when I cried I was told that the tears are the means to clear the way. I never understood it of course, but with life passing me by, I wonder if the tears, the wounds and the broken hearts were not what made us unique in our response to the pan-human experience of gloom.

And when we have no more tears to shed, is the way clear? To where? To what?

L. Cohen has always reminded me of the Austrian poet Rainer M. Rilke. And as I spent time re-listening to L. Cohen’s songs, I wondered if the common line of inquiry between these two poets, and what appeals to my own attitude as well, could be the fascination with the question, rather the answer. I know I am a “question man”—perhaps that is why the academic and research worlds filled my life for four decades.  The answer is often the death of the question’s beauty; it may also be the most anti-climactic moment we regret we have reached.

Rilke puts it most eloquently:
Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

The purist cognoscenti does not need to know. He just needs to be involved in the process of learning and sharing his experiences along the way. I believe the title of L. Cohen’s posthumous album hints to that – the “dance” is rarely carried out alone (perhaps other than the Sufi Darwishes and Zorba the Greek!) and needs the participation of one or more other dancers.

So is the journey of “living the questions” and the joy and gratitude of sharing it with others.

December 2, 2019
© Vahé A. Kazandjian, 2019

Sunday, November 24, 2019

Mimosa Pudica – How a Poem by João Cabral de Melo Neto Embarked Me on Time Travel






I am not a fan of João Cabral de Melo Neto, the Brazilian poet and diplomat who redefined Brazilian modernism. He is most of the most influential writers of modern Brazil, based on the use of simple language to turn poetry into a structural edifice of deliberate and meticulous attention. Yes, he is a most influential poet, but somehow not the sensual expresser of words that touch me in the most unexpected moment. Poetry for me has to give the feeling of effortless allure or destructive pain, rather than the oblique reality of straight lines.

Well, the reason I started this essay with De Melo Neto is because a friend sent me a poem of the late poet, translated by Djelal Kadir of the University of Oklahoma, saying:

“You and I do not talk about our previous lives as researchers anymore. Perhaps it is pudor, perhaps a deliberate dissociation. But you may see that the poet you sometimes talked about has also had such struggles.”

I met my friend in Saō Paulo decades ago. We were doing a study of the prevalence of Caesarean section  deliveries in Brazil, and he was one of the local expert obstetricians. Years later, we have both retired from that life and now we correspond about arts and our one-way journey left ahead of us.

I was pleased he sent the bilingual version of the poem as while I can manage reading the Portuguese used in Portugal, I am hopeless in trying to guess how it is used in Brazil.
So, here is the poem and its translation:


I have always avoided speaking of me,                                                        Sempre evitei falar de mim,
Speaking myself. I wanted to speak of things.                                              falar-me. Quis falar de coisas,
But, in the selection of those things,                                                            Mas na seleḉão dessas coisas
Might there not be a speaking of me?                                                          não haverá um falar de mim?

Might that modesty of speaking myself                                                        Não haverá nesse pidor
Not contain a confession,                                                                             de falar-me uma confissão
An oblique confession,                                                                                  uma indireta confissão,
In reverse and ever immodest?                                                                      pelo avesso, e sempre impudor?

How pure or impure                                                                                      A coisa de que se falar
Is the thing spoken of?                                                                                  até onde está pura ou impura?
Or does it always impose itself, impurely                                                     ou sempre se impōe, mesmo impura-
Even, on anyone wishing to speak of it?                                                       mente, a quem dela quer falar?

How is one to know, with so many things                                                     Como saber, se há tanta coisa
To speak or not to speak of?                                                                         de que falar ou não falar?
And if the avoidance of speech                                                                     E se o evitá-la, o não falar,
Itself be a way of speaking of things?                                                           é forma de falar da coisa?                  

My friend explained why he was sending this poem:

“You recall the often capricious non-medical reasons we were given for the frequent use of Caesaren section in Brazil, yes? Well, one of them was that there will be no need for a pudendal bloc to anesthetize the area around the vagina helping the passage of the baby’s head.  This poem uses the word pidor  or pudic which is the origin of pudendal. It is Latin for genitalia, but also means shameful.”

Ha! Pudic is an archaic word now but immediately made me think of Mimosa Pudica, a plant that closes itself (in shyness and modesty?) when touched.  I smiled as I thought about that reaction and the name given to it by Carl Linnaeus during his sexual taxonomy of plants.  Upon external stimuli like touch, the cells of the plant which are filled with water proceed to an exchange of ions that leads to loss of hydrostatic pressure and the collapse of the leaves. Hence the pudic behavior of the plant. With time the ionic balance is restored and the leaves re-acquire turgidity (turgor pressure) and reopen.

So, when touched the plant become flaccid. Of course in the animal kingdom, when genitalia are touched they become turgid and fluid filled.

Which one is the pudic or shy behavior?

Of course that is not what the poem of De Melo Neto is all about. It is about the modesty of an introvert asking questions that are linear and require linear answers. That is why his use of language is compared to an architect’s work. And for that very reason he stated that:

“A poesia não é fruto de inspiração em razão do sentimento”, mas o “fruto do trabalho paciente e lúcido do poeta”
(Poetry is not the product of inspiration triggered by feeling, but the product of the poet's patient and lucid work.)

Perhaps that is why I understand Fernando Pessoa most effortlessly when reading poetry in Portuguese…

November 24, 2019
© Vahé A. Kazandjian, 2019

Tuesday, November 19, 2019

Dendrophobia and La Diritta Via







I have been reading Dante lately, again. The Inferno is a returning point when life speeds up its journey. I have read The Divine Comedy a few times, coincidental with stages of my life. I find it calming in its introspective facility.

The Dark Forest. The Underworld from where Orpheus tried to rescue his dead lover Eurydice. For the Greek, it is also Hades to where Odysseus traveled to learn his fate from Teiresias, the blind prophet. And for the Buddhist, the Underworld is a continuum from Yama, the judging King of the Underworld to Nakara, or hell, during the cycle of life passed through Dante’s Dark Forest.

In the Bible, the forest is neutral. No fear of trees (dendrophobia). No fear, except that which results from new knowledge. Yet that happened when the serpent talked, not the tree.  However we fear the tree because it did not talk. Because it let us learn without being taught. Because we knew already.

Sartre wrote the novel Nausea (La Nauseé) where the roots of a chestnut tree under a bench in the park caused nausea to the main character. The tree was there, just like existence, and it encroached upon man’s freedom.  It was the antithesis of existentialism.  In opposition, when William Blake wrote his Poison Tree, it was in the context of “nature being imagination itself.”  Nature, the forest and trees were the source and embodiment to human imagination, not an encroachment upon his existence as proposed Sartre.

La Diritta Via. The straight, perhaps rightful path.  Was it lost in the forest or we ended up in that dark place because we lost that path? But why does it matter when the Divine Comedy is already written for us? Why pursue a path that takes us away or out of that dark forest when we know that the last act of that comedy is a return to existentialist fervor? When the tree never talks yet we know the story. When Nakara is just a stop in that endless cycle. When a French existentialist would use the roots of a chestnut tree to question his freedom from the environment and nature.

… I will read Dante again. But today, when the sun goes down I will also listen to Hilary Hahn play Paganini’s Caprice 24.

And then I will go for a long walk, in the dark, with my dog.

November 19, 2019
© Vahé A. Kazandjian, 2019

Thursday, November 14, 2019

Les Feuilles Mortes









The comfort of nature
Abandons in me
The spaces where once
I ran without fear

Trees with carved names
Paths covered in fallen leaves
I enter to stay
And I stay so I can leave

Again

To finish my search
Of that name
Where nature lost all comfort
But left a promise

Carved on a tree
That stopped growing
Since

November 14, 2019
© Vahé A. Kazandjian, 2019

Sunday, October 27, 2019

.. Di Questo Fondo Non Torno Vivo Alcun, S’I’odo il Vero Senza Tema D’infamia Ti Rispondo (from Dante’s Infreno)




It was a simple time. All lines were either straight or slightly bending. No mystery, and no repetition. Everything was “a first time”.

All lines were clear. Braque or Picasso stayed in their cubes. Rubik forgot the twists to align his cube’s faces. All faces were in line these days.

“Loneliness is when solitude stops populating your space” I was told. You have to listen like an ear listens to its earring. Like Spanish Cava masquerades French bubbles. Like when it is suddenly morning again.

Like it is now as it was then. When the Danube was never blue but walking it in Budapest or Vienna was best for loudly reciting Armenian poetry to those who did not understand Armenian. Or walking over that river, alone, to Petrzalka on a windy night.

All lines were either straight or bending just slightly.

Yet, we returned alive from these depths to where lines had become maze, and reality a title for a poetry book.  Dante descended to where many of us ascended near the Danube or the Caspian Sea. And we repeated, often unknowingly Dante’s lines:
               “If what I hear is true, without fear or infamy, I answer thee”

For in those depths all we found was soothing solitude we all eventually ascend to. There was no loneliness as the lines were straight. And, if they bent slightly before a new day arrived, without fear or infamy, we always had the same answer.

And the answer was a promise.

October 27, 2019
© Vahé A. Kazandjian, 2019

Saturday, October 19, 2019

A Map in Flames



The world is changing again. At least the part of the world where I spent my youth.

I saw a map on TV about the Syrian conflict and two names reached deep into my long locked memory vault and for a minute, I ignored the passage of time, the vastness of continents, the languages I learned, and the lessons I cherished.

Ras el-Ain and Qamishli.

… One of the Kurdish-Syrian intellectual’s works I first read in the 1970s was the poetry of Saleem/Salim Barakat.  He is a Kurdish writer, poet and intellectual who now lives in Sweden. He originally described his approach as writing in Kurdish using Arabic language.  In fact, his original poetry was influenced (in my opinion) by historical moments from the Arab, Armenian, Assyrian and Yazidi cultures. And that is not surprising since Qamishli, where he was born and spent his youth, is a melting pot of all these cultures.

I have written about Barakat’s work before here https://vahezen.blogspot.com/2018/11/freedom-did-maslow-overestimate-human.html. Today, after seeing that map on TV, I searched the Web for more and found a very thoughtful literary site called Jacket2 (https://jacket2.org/about-us) that publishes literary commentaries, reviews and interviews. There, I read a commentary by Huda J, Fakhreddine an academic from the University of Pennsylvania. It is a very well written essay about Barakat and his influence in modern Middle Eastern and world literatures. In that essay Dr. Fakhreddine has also included a few translations she and a colleague made of the most poignant statements and imagery from Barakat’s 1983 work. Having read many of these in their original language, I found the translation well representative of the message Barakat sought.

Here are my favorites:
Writing: violence testing the forgotten
and
Sound: the ruin of form

… An academic myself, I often proposed that the answer is the death of the question.

And today, I hope the answer to that map on TV where burning icons are placed atop the cities is not the death of the question.

Since all questions start with Why?

October 19, 2019
© Vahé A. Kazandjian, 2019

Wednesday, October 9, 2019

Let There Be Spaces in Your Togetherness, and Let the Winds of the Heavens Dance Between You (Khalil Gibran, Broken Wings)





I met angels
Before they knew
What they would become
When the sand is warm
And the evenings
Lonely

Broken wings
Broke for a journey
To where those
Who see angels
Believe
In themselves

And they carry
The names of those they loved
Like wings now too heavy
To fly back
And call these names
Again
One more time

I saw angels
Before they
Saw me
A paintbrush in my hand
Giving shape
To their aching wings
And a new
Name
To their loneliness

October 9, 2019
© Vahé A. Kazandjian, 2109

PS/ I found these angels on the grounds of an old cemetery in Prescott, Arizona.  There seemed to be no grave under them, although time has not been kind to the graves there.

Saturday, September 28, 2019

Night Blood is Dark




Two wolves
Howled at the moon
But no one
Was frightened

      Three wolves
      Pointed to the sky
      And waited

          Wine left its bottle
          When I listened to the moon

               Two wolves
               Waited
               For the third
               One

                    To bring the moon
                    Back

September 28, 2019
©Vahé A. Kazandjian, 2019

Monday, September 23, 2019

Hi Coucou




Wild grass
Burn the desert
In sand and clay

The rabbit stays
In the shade
Of the fire plume

The quail runs
Away from
Its burned feathers

Dry brush
Still on the hill
Rain on the way

September 23, 2019
©Vahé A. Kazandjian, 2019

It is monsoon season in Arizona and the skies have opened to pour all the water they can hold. Flooding happens quickly when the ground is so dry for so long.
I was reading Haikus by Matsuo Basho circa 1680s. After a few line, ”Haiku sounded like “coucou” and I thought of the roadrunner, one of the most recognizable birds of the desert, moving in short but fast runs like a Haiku.
So, decided to try a few short runs of my own upon the empty screen.

Wednesday, September 11, 2019

Yellow Day-lily





Time did not stay
Long enough
So in the dark of the highnoon
Moon
I left the door open

And I waited
Holding a promise
Like a flower at the graveside
Where a human shell was left alone
Waiting for the open door
To let the promise
In

And the flower I held
A daylily thirsty and dry
Became my hand
With hurting joints
Hoping to still hold
What had already
Passed

Since time did not stay
And I had no space to hide it
From its own passage
If it had stayed

I opened the door wider
To let the long shadow cover
The darkness of the highnoon
Moon

And then there was no name
No smile carved upon the stone
Crushing the graveside
Where I let
The daylily fall
As a promise

September 11, 2019
© Vahé A. Kazandjian, 2109

Friday, September 6, 2019

Anhelo Vacío




There is more than a word
For love
As those we loved
Did not know we did

Saudade
I was told,
Is for longing
Of what is long
Gone

There is more than love
When you ask those eyes
To bury you
So you will not be alive
Alone

And when the river
Takes a wrong turn
You wonder how you will say
That you once indeed felt
And that you still remember

Nostalgia, the secret binding
Called in different ways
That still makes you long
For the last scent your breath left
Upon her smile

As she walked away
Through the glass door
To be lonely
Alone

September 6, 2019
© Vahé A. Kazandjian, 2019

Sunday, August 25, 2019

Stony Walls




It was just a drop
But I drowned in it
The moment got lost
In the whisper of fear
And the drop filled
All spaces

There was no morning
After a night of wonder
Coffee was bitter, butter had
Melted
And dogs started barking
In loneliness

It was just a drop
That covered my page
In words I had forgotten
In passion that once was
Love
And made my pen bleed
In dark ink and colour

There was no morning
After I wrote that page
In sounds cities make
When all sleep in pain
In sounds the fall mist gives
To the top of tall
Trees

And then
I drank the coffee
Scratched my belly
And wore my heavy boots
To go out
And feed
The
Dogs

August 25, 2019
© Vahé A. Kazandjian, 2019


Friday, August 23, 2019

Erratum



Got an email from a reader who did not sign the message as most of the comments I get. Indeed, in my August 10 posting about national awakening through poetry, I had typed the Estonian national prose awakening document incorrectly – it should be Kalevipoeg (Kalievipoek in Estonian meaning Kalev’s Son) and not Klavipoeg as I had written.

I have made the correction, with thanks. And, as I was typing somehow I wondered why would someone find the word Umbrella funny, or suggest reading Jonathan Livingston’s Seagull…

August 23, 2019
© Vahé A. Kazandjian, 2019

Tuesday, August 20, 2019

Chromesthesia




Red is not of anger
But a sound to abide
While you feel the labour pain
Of the woman on the fifth floor

Near the summer-dry creek
Yellow is for squirrel bark
When high noon is all sun
All flame, without the sound
Of any shade

A broken violin in the trash bin
And the road is again all green
Each cord curled as alphabet
And a lunar calendar of days

There are shoes near the pool
Which have walked the dusty trails
Where elegance lost its colour
To a spectrum
In melody

August 20, 2019
© Vahé A. Kazandjian, 2019

Note: I wrote these lines influenced by a painting by Wassily Kandinsky titled “Yellow, Red and Blue

Monday, August 19, 2019

They Left Without Fanfare






Grateful
I let in
On an unmoon night
The shadow of a wall

I had learned before
That the uninvited
Bring presents
I had received before

Grateful
I let them in
Sitting upon a crumbling wall
To hear about ancient seas and gulls

Eloquence
Is a narrow path
Where the truth is lost
In the travel dust

But I stayed there
To hear the wings
Of dark crows
Cut the morning light
And I let in
Grateful and without fear
The promise uninvited souls
Brought as present

Till the dust settled
And the path found its reason
To follow
And be lost around the bend

And then
When all roads
Came to an end
I stood upon that wall
And whispered

A name
A time
When promises
Were never shared

Just
Given
As presents
For being

Let in

August 19, 2019
© Vahé A. Kazandjian, 2019